"What does that key go to?"...

We tell ourselves that if we wait long enough, things will change. They will get better. Does it work? No, of course not, but it doesn't stop us from waiting, wasting our lives for someone who will never care. Someone who won't even realize what exactly it means for us to stand there waiting, yet somehow it still hurts when it becomes clear that they don't care and never did because some delusion allowed us to believe that they did. After the fact when things become completely clear and our delusions can no longer survive, we break again. Everything becomes painstakingly vulgar and gaping open as we try to keep breathing. We hide behind fake laughs and lipstick smiles. When someone asks what something from a close memory means, choking out the word "nothing" is harder than ever conceived possible. Now hurting more than you could have ever comprehended possible before, you wish that you could just wake up, that this was all just some horrible dream that the demons in your head made to torture you. However, no such mercy is provided, more agony is all that you receive. Not knowing what to do or how to handle yourself, you simply portray what you think you would be like if your world wasn't in shambles, if you weren't in shambles.